Be Still

"Be still, my soul: thy God doth undertake

To guide the future, as He has the past.

Thy hope, thy confidence let nothing shake;

All now mysterious shall be bright at last.

Be still, my soul: the waves and winds still know

His voice Who ruled them while He dwelt below."

- 2nd verse of Be Still, My Soul Hymn

Well this last week has been very interesting. I've had a couple of things to be happy about along with a lot of things to be anxious about. I hope I don't forget to mention anything important.

1) Daniel really wants me to set a date for when we move. I suppose that's understandable. I've already told him that I didn't want to move before my birthday, since I was away for the last one. Not that I imagine anything super exciting, but I like being around my family. However, he found out that I graduate May 2nd and now he really wants to move as soon as I'm done with school. Still, I can't decide if it makes sense to move before our Yellowstone trip halfway through June since we will have to drive back here anyway. This makes me anxious because I honestly don't feel like I have the time to think about it right now.

2) None of the above really matters if I get that job. Oh, yes. That's something that happened this week. You know that reading development teaching job that I was sure I hadn't got because they did not contact me when they said they would? Well, they contacted me a week late and wanted to schedule a second interview. So, now I have that to think about again. If I get that job then I have to be in L.A. by mid-May anyway and Yellowstone will be a no. So, I guess that will solve that problem. That interview is this Friday. This gives me even more stress than I want. I feel less confident this time around because they took so long to get back to me. It makes me feel as if I was not on the original list... I could be wrong, but that is how I feel about it.

3) This Friday is my first observation by my supervisor as well (Friday is not going to be a fun day. Well, I suppose it could be a fun day if I chose to make it a fun day, but I'm not feeling like it today, maybe the warmer weather predicted for this week will put me in a better mood but for now I choose the doom and gloom perspective). I'm super nervous not only because I honestly need good things right now, but because my class is super behind from where I predicted we would be at this point. So many things interrupt what we're supposed to be doing. I originally scheduled her to come on a day that I felt confident that we would be doing some cool things, but now I know that is not going to happen. I don't even dare to think what we will be doing that day, since whenever I make plans we just get further and further behind.

4) I just have a lot of stuff due this week for class and I haven't gotten the time to start. Well, I had time today but I chose to take a nap. Stupid. This week for class we are having mock interviews done by U.E.A.. I'm kinda excited about this. I'm excited to practice interviewing but I hate interviews, they raise the anxiety level... too far. Also, principals from the districts in Utah will be there, watching and seeing us, but this does me no good whatsoever since I'll be moving to Utah in 4 months (I'm a tad bitter).

4) Classes went well last week. My students are adjusting to me and I am feeling more comfortable around them. There are a few students I get along really well with and those students probably don't know how much I rely on them to help me make it through a lesson. I contacted 24 parents this Friday. 12 for good reasons, 12 for the bad. I feel like I made some good headway with some parents, others never even responded which means I'm going to have to figure out how to talk to them this week. Also, I had a heart to heart with a lot of students in my ESL class. These students really struggle and it felt good to be able to talk to them all individually and motivate them to do better.

5) I got a key! I got a key to my site teacher's classroom! Which also works for the faculty restroom! Which means a bit more privacy in the school. Also, this means I don't have to wait for Cindi to get to school and let me into her classroom before I can start to get ready for the day, which is good. I'm always early to everything and it's bit of a waste if I have to wait before I can even start to get ready.

6) Also, Hale. I found out that Brooke got a raise and I didn't. I'm glad I'm quitting soon, I'm starting to hate it there (sorry if there are any Haleans reading this). One more show to go.

So, as you can see, I'm very anxious about this week. I just have so much to do and I cannot see very much time to do it in. You know what? I know it's going to be ok. I quoted a hymn up above that I read earlier today. It gave me a little bit of confidence. I know God has a plan for me and that if it's supposed to be, it will be. All I can do is try my hardest and I'll get through it. I think this week is just going to be about survival.

Anyway, I'm feeling overwhelmed and upset. I think I'm just going to call it tonight early this week. Good night all. I love you!